sandy

"Auntie, Auntie!! Come look at the bird!" 

I was barely in the girls home and I already had 4 of them rushing me to see the bird (it took me a while to understand when they said 'bird'.. but I'm learning the accent!) They pull me into a room, then point me to the outside porch. My eyes automatically look up in the trees to find this bird.

"No Auntie.. on the ground!!" 

This was probably the hardest I've laughed since being here. They caught a bird! Not just any bird.. but Sandy (yep.. that's what they named it). After trying to convince them to let Sandy go, they proceeded to tell me they're going to eat it! And that's just what they did! I went to their home last night and asked where Sandy was. 

"He died." 

Did you eat Sandy? That was answered with shameless smiles and head nods. 

Afosina (left) and Charlie (right) excited to show off Sandy! 

Mercy is making sure to fatten Sandy up with water and milk (=

I cannot believe today marks 3 weeks of me living in Gulu! Time has flown by (a little faster than our friend Sandy.. unfortunately). Everyday I am getting more and more used to life here. My heart has been touched by the women/staff/locals and I am so thankful that He's placed me in Gulu. I am captivated by His beauty here.

In my last post, I mentioned the fear that was residing in me. We've (meaning me and God) worked on it since then - not to perfection, but great progress (= By plucking out any root of fear within me, I now have room for my trust in Him to grow. He cares about me more than I do. Many times I forget that. I rest in His sweet truth that "... You alone, Oh Lord, make me to dwell in safety." (Psalm 4:8) I am given the Holy Spirit to dress myself with through out the bright sunny day and wrap myself up in by the cool nights before I rest. He can take better care of me than I can, when I think fearing is the right thing to do. (what a refreshing relief!) 

I'm hesitant to fall in love with Gulu for the risk that I might want to stay here past June. Every uncertainty/hesitation has something better: TRUTH. In this case, it's true that the Lord will reveal to me the desires of His heart for me when the time is ready. "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matthew 6:34) aka.. don't worry about 9 months later, either! I pray that my heart will align with His, and I know He desires what is best.

Prayer. Support. Sacrifice. Love. I have never experienced each of these to this extent ever. My family, friends, and people whom I've never met have been supporting me "... above all I could ever ask or imagine"(Ephesians 3:20). One of the factors that kept me from applying to volunteer with Zion Project was my family. I didn't want to leave them for so long and miss out on everything going on. I dreaded the thought of being updated from a distance. The Lord graciously lead me to another nugget of truth: 

"... Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand more." (Luke 12:48) 

and for me, those were my loved ones. I was given SO much when the Lord created them. It's funny how the one thing holding me back from wanting to go is now a catalyst for my sustained health, faith, and safety all through prayer. He equipped me with the most incredible family and lead me to the most wonderful friends FOR THIS JOURNEY. I am so blessed.

OUTREACH

Last Wednesday, Christine (one of the staff members) and I went for outreach. This is supposed to be a time when we go with all of the women to travel into communities and hospitals and pray over people. Since a lot of the women were sick, we traveled to their community to pray over them. They live in grass-roofed mud huts (called the slums), and most live near one another because all but one are Congolese. Before visiting, Christine and I went to the hospital to see one of her friends. It was the first hospital I've been to here, and I wasn't sure what to expect. Christine had told me she was 'scissored', which made me cringe - but I know she meant she had surgery. I'll tell you one thing, I was NOT expecting to be met with the most beautiful 22 year old girl in a hospital bed when we entered her room. She had just had her appendix taken out and was recovering. Mariam's smile was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and her cheeks were glowing. Although her smile was weak... it sure was breathtaking. I prayed over her as Christine interpreted. I had to pray for strength to get through it without crying. 

We then walked on to where our women live. We met about 4 of our women in their homes, and we ran into a couple people we had relations with. I again had the opportunity to pray over each of them with Christine's wonderful translation.

I had been asking for my eyes to see what He sees. 

And for my heart to be broken for what breaks His.

My eyes were filling with tears through out all of outreach. Seeing their living conditions and receiving their prayer requests couldn't have been described as making me 'sad'. My heart was genuinely b r e a k i n g. The thing that boggles my mind, is how the Lord pours so much love out of a broken heart. 

My eyes and heart got a little taste of what He sees/feels. I was overwhelmed and had to keep blinking a lot to soak up my tears and keep them from running down. 
I bet one or two of you know what I'm talking about there 

Our second to last visit was with a couple of women who didn't work with us. One of them had a few extra additions to her family because they had no where else to go. She pointed to her mud hut to explain one the children was in there. As I turned around, out ran the little boy chasing a plastic bag in the wind. He came over to greet us but didn't talk. When he greeted me, he didn't let go of my hand. He didn't look at me either.. but he held on to my hand. I was soon holding his one tiny hand with both of mine. His frame was so small and hands were so fragile. My heart again.. sweetly broken.

DEVOTION

This past week I also had the opportunity to stay at the girls home for their devotion they have every night. Sheesh - as if outreach wasn't moving enough, I found myself in a room filled with 17 girls praising our Savior with closed eyes, raised hands, shuffling feet, swaying hips, and one incredible beat dropped by Veronica (one of the girls) on their drum. Hearing their free voices singing brought on more tears. When it was time to pray, they all prayed at once. There is something about listening to 17 precious girls' prayers quietly pouring out of their mouths that all repeatedly started with "Baba, asante". I don't know much Swahili, but I have learned that means "Father, thank you..." My heart was tenderly broken, again.

Bite size kid stories of the week: 

- Welp. I scared my first kid! While walking through the slums for outreach, I had walked past a little girl who couldn't have been older than 2. She took one look at me and horror was written all over her face. She screamed and raannn to her mama's side! While I felt terrible for scaring her with my skin color, I was appreciating the comic relief. (=

- I also had my first little one fall asleep in my arms. Dear little baby Sarita. I was watching her and Stephen while their mom went to the clinic. She was resting in my lap and before I knew it I felt her breath be more steady and softer than before. My heart was melting. 

- I had my first hug from a random little girl! Her mom had seen me in the distance as I was walking to a boda, and because I was white and a girl, she automatically referred to me as Auntie. Her name was Stella, and her daughter's name was Patience. I knelt down and swung my arms wide open as Stella said "give auntie a hug!" Patience was maybe 2 years old and just the most precious thing!

My prayer: to fiercely love without reserve. 

Love the women. Love the girls. Love the staff. Love this town. 

WITHOUT RESERVE