gifts

A little over a year ago, my beautiful family and I traveled to Florida to be apart of and witness the incredible wedding of Steph & Shannon. I'm starting off with this picture 1) because I miss each of them more than imaginable, and 2) because I'm thinking of the employee, Sean at the hotel we stayed at. Remember how we thought Sean reminded us of the character Ramone in the movie The Proposal? Sean filled every position in the hotel: receptionist, pool tender, towel runner, chauffeur, maintenance ... and many more. All with a smile, I might add.  Now this a stretch here, but lately I’m realizing how God is my ‘Sean’. He’s always been a God of many hats, but that is proving so true to me here. So far, the Lord has been my . . .

• Musician who sings me to sleep with His truths
• Guard when my eyes are closed once I do fall asleep
• Protector when I’m awake
•  Shield when I ride a boda; and guider of the boda when we fall
•  Weatherman when I’m in need of a cool breeze
•  Best friend to talk to 
• Disinfector of my toothbrush right after a cockroach had just crawled around it
• Doctor when I couldn’t get help right away for my burn; and for my eye when I forgot my drops in the US
• GPS in learning this town
• Stylist in the morning (yes… I do ask Him what I should wear for the day and for Him to do my hair sometimes. What... you don't?)   (;
• Cook when I’ve prayed to love every bite of food I take
•  Computer technician when I need a better connection to Skype with my friends and family
• Teacher in learning my position here
• Electrician when we need power

A God of many hats.
He is my  e v e r y t h i n g

You're welcome to put a little

Michael Buble sound to that  

gifts.gifts.gifts. 

Before I give someone a gift my excitement is nearly through the roof. I get all sorts of jittery like a ping pong ball was set off inside of me and hitting every pocket of "eeek!! (= " possible. To continue with the wedding theme, I'll give an example of my inability to contain my excitement during that time. 

I studied abroad in Italy last summer and picked out gifts for my family, including things for Steph & Shannon as they were about to enter their new married season! The items were supposed to be wedding gifts, but I was just too dang excited! Soo I caved the first time I saw her and gave them to Steph the night she landed in London. Woops...  

having a hot pad made for them in Perugia, Italy 

final product!

I wonder if the Lord gets any more excited than He already is right before we receive a gift from Him. Does He wait in anticipation, kneeling down, hands rubbing together and wide eyed as we see the gift, pull loose the ribbon and unwrap it? God has emotions too - shoot, who do we think we got them from? But do His fluctuate like ours do?

I know His LOVE does not budge one ounce. But He feels when we mourn, have joy, and suffer. He's not some monotone dude just sitting way up at a distance with one hand pressed up against His cheek in boredom and the other waving a magic wand directing a play down here. He is ALIVE! So I wonder, does His excitement heighten when we are about to receive His gifts? 

I have been the receiving many gifts since my time here in Uganda, but a couple in particular stand out to me in the past week.

1. Because students at the University near the rescue home were rioting on Friday, all 17 girls came to our place after school instead of risking tear gas and bullets. The night was filled with Elf, coloring, and a mass production of delicious mac 'n cheese by Sarah. We put out mattresses that were stored in the office on the ground in the living room. The two smallest girls, Gloria and Charlie, slept in the extra bed in my room. After making sure most of the older girls were 'asleep' I quietly crept into my room knowing the little ones had already passed out.

One thing I miss about home 

is sneaking into my little sisters' room when they were asleep. 

There is something about hearing a little one breathing while they've surrendered all to their exhaustion. 

As I stepped into my room I was met with just that. I stopped in my tracks and had to smile. I lit my candle and made as little noise as possible getting ready for bed. I forgot how precious little ones sleeping breaths are. I could tell which one was Gloria and which was Charlie. Needless to say, I didn't use my earplugs that night but fell asleep to two sweet creations.

2. My second golden gift from Him was on Sunday. I was able to see 7 beautiful faces on my computer! In the morning I skyped with Halie, Michelle, Jiwon & Laura before they went on their color run. They took me to Michelle's house, Bagel Shop, and DC once they got there! It was great to see bits of Ashburn/DC but WONDERFUL to see their bright faces, hear their voices, and all the craziness that comes with them.

In the evening I had a google hangout with the Berry Patch! Haley, Alex & Jenn were all on! We got to catch up on each others lives and share much needed laughs. I miss doing life with them! I have been missing home a lot recently, and He knew that was just the dose I needed.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights..." James 1:17

A N N E   G R A H A M 

This past Tuesday a few Zion Project staff and I had the wonderful opportunity to hear Anne Graham (Billy Graham’s daughter) speak. She was not in the city of Kampala, but right here in the town of Gulu! There were probably 200+ church leaders, organization members, and missionaries who went. I was one of maybe 15 mzungus (white people) there. 

When it came time for praise and worship, the talented leader sang a few songs in English, then a few in Swahili & Acholi. While I loved the English songs, I was captivated when we sang in another language. From doing morning devotion with the women I knew a handful of songs. During some of them I just had to close my eyes and smile. 

I thought, ‘this has to be a glimpse of heaven’. In heaven we will worship our King as ONE; not divided by tribe, class, color, or continent. My mind continues to wonder what that really will sound, look, and feel like. 

It's all unimaginable.

mr. chickedy

Last Thursday Christine and I traveled to Kampala via Post Bus. On our way, distress came upon Christine as she remembered she forgot to bring the chicken for her niece in Kampala! Not a cooked chicken… a full-grown, living, feathered, breathing chicken. We had a few stops along our 5 hour journey. When I say ‘stops’, I mean the bus literally just stopped in the middle of the road. People come running up to the bus holding long sticks to reach the windows with baskets at the top and their said product inside: sodas, lemons, cassava, peanuts, beans, roasted bananas (SO GOOD), and live chickens! Well the chickens weren’t on a stick, but they were held upside down and way up high. Christine reached out of the window, paid the man, brought that live thing in and tucked it at her feet! Praise the Lord she had the window seat so Mr. Chickedy was not on the other side next to me.

Me: “So does that thing move around?”

Christine: “Sometimes, yes. Would you like to touch it?”

I quickly shook my head and politely said no.

I was worried if Mr. Chickedy would so much as brush up against my foot with a feather my instant reflex would be to punt him to the front of the bus. Thank God it didn’t… but for some reason we found it had slid up about 7 seats ahead of us by the end of the trip. When Christine said she’d “pick one up on along the way”, I most certainly didn’t think that’s what she meant! haha! This country surprises and teaches me daily. 

On my trips to and from Kampala I was sitting in the middle/back of the bus. This was a different experience than when I first came here, sitting in the passenger seat of a car. My heart would jump each time we had to pass a car and swerve from a pothole simultaneously, inching us closer and closer to the oncoming vehicle. If you know me well, you know I am the WORST backseat/shotgun driver EVER. I get super nervous when others are driving and opt to sit in the back when I can [except for with a few select drivers!(; ] Sitting in the middle/back of the bus disenabled me to see what’s next on the road until it came up to my window. I was much calmer that way. I smell a lesson here..    

The Lord doesn’t let me see too far ahead in life at points because it’d scare the bejeebiz out of me.

Por ejemplo: I began thinking I was going to Uganda for just 3 months. After a bit, I told my co-leader at the time, Rachel Downey, that I felt the Lord pulling me towards 5 or 6 months. She said He might be showing me a little bit at a time because I’d be overwhelmed if I saw the whole thing at once. She was right! And so was He. He knew I’d freak out if He told me in one sitting that not only would I not be an au pair in France for 3 months, but going to Uganda for 10! 

For some He can covey a message all in one big cake, and others in smaller bites… more like cupcakes. I’m a cupcake kind of girl. It makes my heart glow knowing He has a tailor made way of conveying information, just for me. Like my very own cupcake flavor! (=

I began my journey in Gulu learning to be raw and real with the Lord about how I was feeling in general. I’m now learning to be real with my feelings of all colors towards Him. After some self-reflecting, I realized and confessed that I sometimes think that God has it out for me. I know, I know it sounds weird… but stick with me! Here’s a previous thought bubble of mine: Now that I’ve been more accustomed to life in Gulu and expressed that I love it here… He would say, “YES! Gotchya. Perfect. Stay here forever!” Or that every road I had to take needed to be the hard one. After shedding true light on that lie, I saw how it had bled into so many different aspects. I was tricked into thinking that He had it out for me. Hmm.. I wonder where that idea came from. [I’ll give you a hint. His name starts with an ‘s’ and ends with an ‘atan’].  A few days after I surfaced that thought to Him, I asked for more intimacy with Him. I wanted to know more about Him. I desperately want lies to be dispelled and truths to take center stage. During a quiet time and going through Beth Moore’s James study, I was rocked by this truth: He is incapable of abusing His divine authority over you. He is worthy and holy. Which meant Him ‘having it out for me’ doesn’t line up with the Lord’s character.  Wahoo!                                                                                                                                  S  o     f  r  e  e  i  n  g 

I want every person on earth to know Jesus. I found my desire taking a different angle here because they would experience eternity in a FAR better place than this. Not that America is even a spec of heaven, but life in America is worlds apart from Africa [literally]. With my Americanized mind I often think, gosh I cannot wait until you get to heaven and can live there. Then the big Man gently reminds me that He sent His Son to die so that WE ALL may “have life and have it to the full” (John 10:10). 

I wonder, what does life to the full look like here? You by no means need to live in a first world country to have life to the full. Besides the issue of overpopulation, that would be impossible! But what does it look like for the women who sell to me in the market, or for the children I see walking with water jerrycans balanced perfectly on their heads {truly talented!}, or the boda driver who takes me into town… 

what does their life to the full look like?

I strive to end each day with s t r e t c h i n g and then being before the Lord. I was inspired by Em Curlz (Kacsmar) to try and do the splits again! I have a few stretches that get me closer and closer. I light one of my delicious smelling WoodWick candles from Steph and have at it! Afterwards, I am physically and mentally calmed down and stretched out. I then get on my knees with my face to the ground in child’s pose. The cool tile is the best feeling, as it’s the coolest thing I’ve felt all day. Being on my knees before the Lord is one of the most instant acts of submission, I believe. In order to receive His greater grace (James 4:6) I need to submit to Him. I present things heavy on my heart to Him, or break with tears before Him… but my favorite thing is just be with Him. He’s a simple God. And He loves me. What else is better than that?

"and I will be to her a wall of fire all around, declares the Lord,
and I will be the glory in her midst"
Zechariah 2:5

**Update on the cockroaches: Still here. Working on getting a self-fumigation package. In the meantime… the bottoms of my sandals have become roach-morgues. woof.

PB ice cream & white chocolate shavings

SPOILER ALERT (WARNING): 
THIS POST MAY CONTAIN IMAGES INAPPROPRIATE FOR THOSE WITH WEAK STOMACHES 

(aka. gross bugs)

Aside from the gross bugs... today I will be serving you a few scoops of peanut butter ice cream infused with a serious tone, topped with some lighthearted white chocolate shavings. That would accurately describe my experience here. Each day I learn or see something that burdens my heart cold. The Lord then adds a few silly things here and there to lighten my heart. We’ll start from the bottom of the bowl, and then make our way up.

1st scoop: Jenny

This past Thursday we went for outreach (mentioned in my last post). This time we only went to the hospital. We went intentionally to visit one of our women’s friends, Jenny. We walked into the ward and turned the corner to meet her; my eyes ached. She was basically a skeleton with skin. I have never seen anyone so close to death. Christine asked me to speak hope to her, and then I would pray for her. What I would say would be translated into 2 different languages before it reached Jenny's understanding. I have been nervous before – but this felt like the pre-roller coaster nerves times 12.

What was I supposed to tell to a woman on the brink of death brought on by HIV who was refusing to take any medication, because she didn’t feel as though anyone cares about her?

Nothing. I am to say nothing.

I prayed the Holy Spirit would speak through me, and that’s exactly what happened. As soon as my mouth opened my nerves fled. I remember thinking “Wow. My heart is racing and lips are moving but I don’t even know what I’m saying.” The Lord wanted to speak to her – not me. I pray that she received His love and truth, as we found out yesterday she had passed away.

2nd scoop: Nancy

Sarah had all of the girls try to memorize Romans 12. There were 6 who were able to recite all 21 verses! For their reward, we took them to Uchumi (a store in town) to get a few things with a set amount of money. Some girls got chips, others bread (that’s a treat here), and a few got cookies. While we were in there, a nicely dressed man searched the juice next to us. Nancy, one of our girls, recognizes him and says, “Hello Doctor.” He greets her then turns to me to introduce himself, “I delivered her baby”.

Nancy is 14 and gave birth to Emmy - the baby in the room next to mine, being looked after by Janet - last year. Come to find out, the doctor wasn’t even there during the birth; he just did the prenatal care. Only a few nurses and some of the women from Zion Project were there. 

That’s beside the point.

  A 14 year old just greeted a doctor who treated her during her pregnancy. I was in a store, walking behind a precious jewel of a girl who was taken advantage of by a man. Anger sparked deeper in my heart the more it sunk in.

3rd scoop: STREET KIDS

Sunday I went to a Street Kids meeting with Sarah, who is involved. Street Kids is a group of people who are trying to provide shelter and schooling to kids who live on the street. Some may be orphans, and others have homes but being on the streets is sometimes safer than at home (abuse, etc.) It was one thing when Sarah would tell me about it, but a few of the kids were at the meeting. Some would speak, but there was one (maybe 14 yrs old?) who would keep his head facing the ground with one hand holding it up and the other in his lap when it was his turn to speak. I would try and catch his eye to share a smile with him. The meeting shed light on what happens to these kids while they're on the streets. My heart, again was cracking.

This was the first time I've ever asked the Lord, "God. Where are you?" I was not doubting the Lord, but I was searching for Him. He continued to break my heart through out the meeting. Then it dawned on me: I am at a meeting for an organization hoping to take off that is to bring aid and hope to the street kids. He is here. He is working. It was difficult leaving the meeting, knowing these kids didn't have a home to return to. 

We've made it to the white chocolate shavings (= thanks for stickin' with me! Now for a few helpings of lightheartedness...

* While walking home from dinner one night, Sarah and I were escorted by her Ugandan friend (and my new friend!). We tell him we don't wish to travel through a certain part because it's not safe. He responded with, “All the thugs, they fear me” haha! what!? no they don't. And we continued on the safer path. 

* So we have what you'd call.. a cockroach problemo. While I was searching for my earplugs one night, I flipped my head upside down to look under my bed and was met with this: [please ignore the dust/hair/feather]

Insert gag reflex here.

I left papa roach there partially because I was hoping it'd scare off any others of its kind.. and mostly because I didn't want to touch it (he's still there). My plan didn't work. I have successfully killed off about 4 cockroach families of all sizes. At first I was using my hairspray, then quickly realized I needed to save that. I didn't spy any Paul Mitchell products at Uchumi (; I've decided on my closest flip flop and Doom (spray that kills 'em!) for my best weapons. While killing off my first family, I noticed I was serenading them with the tune of 'Shout' by the Isely Brothers with a swapping of words:

Weeeee-ee-ee-ee-eeee..eeee-llll....

You know you make me want to barf

Kick my heels up and barf

Throw my hands up and barf
Throw my head back and barf
C ' m o n     n o w

We have an agreement, the creatures and I: If you're on the ceiling - you're clear. If you're at eye level or lower - you're fair game. Cockroaches don't tend to be ceiling critters (even 'critter' is too much of an endearing name for them).. so we've had a few blow outs. 

Since then I've found them in my laundry, on the bathroom floor, in the sink, in my bed crawling across my computer screen while skyping with Steph!! I'm sure she got a good laugh while we battled. Last but not least as I reached in my purse to grab my phone at church, and one crawled out on my hand! At least he/she was trying to be holy...

It's gotten better though! Praise God!

[last one, I promise! You all are going to have a sugar high after this]

* Speaking of church, this past Sunday the pastor (American) tried to show how we sometimes believe things even though they aren't true:

 Pastor: “Raise you’re hand if you’ve ever heard that mzungus [white people] can only have two children.” (I was about 1 of 8 other mzungus in there)

People looked around to watch if anyone else would raise their hands. Soon every one of them had courage enough to snicker and raise their hand.

Pastor: “Okay, now keep them raised if you believe that.”

I was suurre some people would put their hands down. But laughter exuded from each of them as they all proudly kept their hands raised!!

Pastor: “What?! How can you believe that? I have FOUR children!”

Richard (from congregation): “You learn from us!”

I was shocked and belly laughing at this point. Apparently they really do believe we can only have 2 children! hahah!!

Well I hope you enjoyed your full helping of PB ice cream and white chocolate shavings (=